This idea popped into my head one morning during my meditation a day after my moms 'bi-weekly news update." As much as I'd love to be in the know, especially when it comes to worldly events, my aversion to t.v. over the past few years has left me in the dark when it comes to a lot of the popular topics of the day, besides the couple of times a month my mom is dying to fill me on the latest "breaking news." Maybe it's because she feels I should be a little more informed because she always brings it to me like "Are you kidding me, you haven't heard about…" fill in the blank with whatever she's been watching unfold on CNN as if it were "All My Children" or any of the other soaps she was in to. This time it was about the conflict between Palestine and Israel.
News That Matters
After razzing me for a few minutes about not knowing about the "longest standing war in history," she gave me a brief history of Palestine and Israel and how Israel has so much more fire power after being aided by the U.S. and Palestine's fire power is no match. Then she gave me the latest news about Palestine shooting some rockets which were easily deflected by the Iron Dome which is part of their defense which is considered one of the "most battle-trained forces in the world." She went on to describe how Israel is able to retaliate with pin-point accuracy with the advanced weapons and blow up key targets such as schools, churches and hospitals, and how at times they will do the civilians the favor of air-dropping leaflets letting them know they need to leave before the ensuing destruction.
My 4-Part Meditation Technique
1. My 20-minute morning meditation is broken into parts. The first part is the only part that most would consider true meditation. I sit in silence and do my best to none focus on anything, as thoughts come into my mind I do my best to not think about the thoughts or let them turn into a longer story, I've heard it described as 'watching the thoughts come in and pass by without adding any judgement or definition to them." This is the hardest part of my meditation as it's effected the most by my mood, energy level and how long it's been since my last meditation session.
2. Next I use my "3-7-7-3" technique I learned from a martial arts instructor I worked with in Atlanta. The practice starts by pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth as you inhale for 3 seconds through your nose. Hold the breath in for 7 seconds. Exhale through your mouth for 7 seconds, hold it out for 3 seconds and repeat. The practice is to get through 10 cycles without losing your focus. Every time you lose count you restart. This is a great starting place to learn to quiet your mind.
3. After this I go into my prayer using a new technique I learned from one of my prayer partners Coach Ric. He gave me the acronymn ACTS, which I can't remember right now, but it reminds me to (A)cknowledge God for all of his beauty and power and love, in an effort to start with gratitude and thanks for all He's already provided before asking him for the prayers for all of my friends and family.
4. I give thanks for all the blessings in my life.
The Connection
During 'Part 4' as I was praying for my son I was reminded of my mothers story, and the idea that "my family is a microcosm of the world" came into my thoughts. I saw Deeq as Palestine with his attacks on me that don't have quite the "battle-testing" mine have had over the years. I had been thinking 'what does Israel have to gain from warning about bombing and then bombing versus using some other more humanitarian approach'? So, when I saw my son and and some of the interactions we've had, I realized my approach is very similar to Israel's when I use all of my education and training to hit him with the most devastating, or battle-ending, firepower I have at my disposal.
In reality, I'm not using any of my training, everything I study is about using power and love to overcome conflicts and to not use force, position and status to control situations. What I was using was conditioning which is the way most of us tend to interact with the world, especially in conflict, which only perpetuates the problems.
My Favorite Quote
My favorite quote since childhood has always been "be the change you wish to see in the world," by Mahatma Ghandi. I've always considered myself a bit of an outlier and thought of myself as the person you can count on to do the unpopular thing if I felt it was the right thing. This was the first time I saw this quote from the standpoint of the most important role I have in this world as a father. To quote my buddy Preston's comments yesterday as we discussed this topic, "The best thing you can do for society is send healthy, confident, well-adjusted people in to the world." Today I would add to the end of Ghandi's quote "and it starts at home!"
As I pondered this thought even more I also saw the my role with my daughters and the issues around feminine roles, their sexualization in the media, their confidence and sense of being loved exactly as they are, and more-so what type of treatment to expect from the men who love them. Lastly, I thought of the lack of respect for the wisdom to be gained from the gray hairs of the world and how my children see me interacting with my mother and other adults in my life.
I left this mediation with a new-found inspiration to lead my family from the same perspective I try to lead my clients and community by "being the change I wish to see in the world". This is the beginning of a new paradigm that's already rippled into many more new ways of interacting with my family that I will be sure to share in another blog soon. Till then, be blessed, and thank you for leaving your encouraging comments and perspectives.
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